last weekend in NJ. There was a good amount of tears.ps, maddox makes amazing faces.

we're in rewind for a moment- back to a colder time and a different coast. a friend from the west coast, a friend from the east, and a couple strangers from the middle spent around 8 hours sitting in line for some much desired tickets. and yes, we would all say it was completely worth it- funny, zany (you read that correctly- zany), and endearing.

my father always said the great mormon story will never be written by a mormon. was it the great mormon story? no, but it was support for my father's words.

Did I tell you I moved 3,000 miles to the San Francisco bay area? Because I did...on what some would call a whim. I'm not really sure why my guts wanted to bask in the California rays but they did and now I'm here. I went exploring on Sunday afternoon and ended up on the top of the ridge that separates the peninsula from Half Moon Bay and the fog was incredible. Before I got to the top, I thought there was a fire. This photograph doesn't even do it justice. It looked like two different worlds colliding. 

Greetings from Sunny Cal-i-forn-i-a!

Read this post and listen to "Vittorio E" by Spoon.

You're welcome.

2012 seems like a good time to reflect on 2011. there's less pressure since the year's already ended. Which means no rushing the new year's resolutions or trying to figure out which lessons i learned and which ones i ignored. and most likely, i ignored a lot.

i heard the following song sometime after thanksgiving but before pearl harbor day. the first time i played it, dad was sitting on the couch next to me; both of us in silence, listening, "when you go, what you leave is a work of art, on my chest, on my heart." he was right, really. we are all master painters in our own way.

so, can i sum up the year in three words? not likely but i can at least try...

two.thousand.eleven: these two boys make the world right.

click it to read it and see a close up of miss.sj

.newstuff.

i took one picture my whole time in utah (sadly) but i'm glad that it was this one.

it was a short trip, both on time and notice. i didn't even make it to logan...i HATE that. ill come back to visit soon but probably not until the snow is gone (which means june).

After scraping the leaf of a steamed artichoke with her teeth, my mom said, "Isn't it amazing what humans have figured out?" Simply put, "Yes."

Summer 2006: The Faces, "Oh la la"

Fall 2006: Pete Yorn, "Strange Condition"

Winter 2006/07: Nada Surf, "Concrete Bed"

Spring 2007: Ben Harper, "Better Way", Jack Johnson, "Let It Be Sung"

Summer 2007: Seawolf, "Middle Distance Runner"

Fall 2007: The Weepies, "World Spins Madly On"/ Ingrid Michaelson, "Die Alone"

Winter 2007/08: Josh Ritter, "Mind's Eye"/ Josh Ritter, "Temptation of Adam"

Spring 2008: Xaiver Rudd, "Better People"

Summer 2008: Tegan and Sara, the entire album, "The Con"

Fall 2008: First Aid Kit covers Fleet Foxes, "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song"/Aesop Rock, "None Shall Pass"

Winter 2008/09: Carla Bruni, "Quelqu'un ma dit"

Spring 2009: Feist, "I Feel It All"

Summer 2009: Old Crow Medicine Show, "Wagon Wheel"/Devendra Banhart, "At The Hop"/ Band of Horses, "The General Specific"/ Angus & Julia Stone, "Just a Boy" (there was a lot of music that summer...)

Fall 2009: A.R. Rahman & M.I.A., "O...Saya"

Winter 2009/10: Tegan and Sara, "And Darling"

Spring 2010: Pheonix, "1901"

Summer 2010: Modest Mouse, "3rd Planet"

Fall 2010: The Black Keys, "Work Me"/ Yael Neim, "Far Far"

Winter 2010/11: Beirut, "Sunday Smile"

Spring 2011: Local Natives, "World News"/Wye Oak, "Holy, Holy"

Summer 2011: Blitzen Trapper, "Furr"

Fall 2011: Too Soon to Tell

These songs are burned into my memory forever. It's true, you know? The human brain is incredible. We've figured out how to eat artichokes and we've figure out how to remember thousands upon thousands of songs. Not only that, but we have memories attached to them all...and know most the words. Except for Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Start the Fire"...still working on that one.

Date: Sunday, September 3, 2011, about 6:00pm, Newark International Airport.

Cora parks right before a crosswalk outside the airport. And can ya believe it?- this crosswalk was set up with the latest gadgets; a stop light for cars AND a crosswalk signal for peds. We throw my bags in the back and as luck would have it, we have a green light! Cora starts to move forward and some jerk starts walking against the red hand. This kind of action would be fine except it always causes a chain reaction. People from both sides of the street start walking. Thinking about how long we could potentially be stuck in this abyss, Cora gets pissed and I tell her to start inching forward; welcome to East coast driving! When it seemed we were in the clear, a nice Jewish family starts in and Cora has to stop nose deep in the crosswalk. She honks, the Rabbi stares at us, I start waving my arms, he starts yelling, Cora starts laughing and I probably cursed at him.

See. Traffic laws make people swear at men of God because in a crosswalk, we are all idiots.

(post originally written in March 2011)

Junior year of high school, I had an English teacher who was one of those people I really connected with although we had very little interaction outside or inside of class. There was no banter like I had with my Pre-Calc teacher. We didn't say 'hello' to each other in the halls. I never raised my hand in class and I knew very little about him except that he grew up in The Middle of Nowhere, Vermont. We both had a mutual respect for one another and that was enough.

Every time I see a Soren Kierkegaard quote I first think of my elusive teacher and then my father. After reading The Stranger in AP English, Dad introduced me to Kierkegaard. He wanted me to know that existential thought and a belief in a higher power were not necessarily isolated instances; You could have both. I'm not quite sure why I think of my Junior year teacher because I read Camus' book Sophomore year (something I just realized about 4 minutes ago). I guess we can't always trust our memories. This is proof.

In my head, I always thought he was the one who introduced me to a greater trust in myself but in actuality it was one of the most dry, cynical women I had ever known. I guess what Junior year English did was give me the confidence to use my mind or better yet, how to trust it.

I never expressed my gratitude to Mr. Ross. It was too uncomfortable for me. Silly, right? Part of me believes he would have been uncomfortable too but maybe not. Maybe I just tell myself that to make me feel better. He only stayed at West Morris Central for a couple of years. The last time I talked to anyone who knew him, she said he had received an offer somewhere else but not quite sure where. That was 5 years ago.

Sometimes when I think of that class, I wonder what he's up to but those thoughts quickly fade. It doesn't matter. If I have only learned one thing from Kierkegaard it is understanding the importance of the present. Mr. Ross served a purpose in my life but that was years ago. I'm not saying I wouldn't love to run into the man but I'm not out searching. I have other things to look for.

via

www.designcrushblog.com

The view from my window is, in some ways, right out of a novel. And if we go by what I told my dad last night, it would be something straight out of a murder mystery.

brought to you by a friday stroll.

As we drive down tree covered 6A, my thoughts are 100% focused on the excel spreadsheet in front of me. It is not until I close my computer and look up that I notice where we are. It's funny how a town I only see once a year can seem so commonplace. It's like I was made for this place and it for me. The routine's always the same: books, beach, food comas, laughter, talent shows, the old man who fills the pot holes and cracks with new asphalt. Year after year, his job never seems to progress and yet he never seems phased.
Every year there seems to be a new addition to the crew as well and the welcoming of some new excitement or job or move or struggle. It's usually a mix of them all but it doesn't matter because for a handful of days the only thing that matters is 6A. 6A refocuses life. It's the tiny reminder that it'll all be okay. It gives me breath and it freezes time. In fact, time doesn't even exist when you are driving down 6A. Maybe that's why the old man continues filling the holes. Maybe he's just enjoying the summer heat...

Mary and I decided to stop by the This Is The Place Monument. She said I needed a photograph with my kin before I left the state. So, I did it...holding a gun

...correctly, I might add.

Apologies on the the small type. Microsoft paint is harder to use than you'd think. Click to enlarge if you'd like.

"Better watch it kid! You might like it so much you'll want to stay. Then you might start thinking Einstein bagels are as good as Chester Bagel."- Hans Wallin, June 9, 2010

The above was in reference to me saying I was falling in love with Salt Lake City. Utah, in general, has been good to me. I love this place. It's kind of incredible that the girl who was bitter about living here for a good 11 months can't seem to pull herself away.

Maybe I'll come back. I don't know. But for now, I need a real bagel. Chester Bagel, welcome me with open arms!

Ways I know I have matured...kind of:

-I asked for my tires to be rotated as a birthday gift

-My MTV viewing must have dropped dramatically because I had no idea Britney Spears had a new album

Those are really the only two examples I have at the moment but I bet there's more....maybe.

My birthday was on Saturday. I think it was a pretty day. I don't really remember though. I spent the day in bed and the insta-care instead of at a best friend's wedding and the middle of the desert. You may not believe me but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Yes, it would have been nice to be able to speak to my parents in the morning instead of crying in frustration because only every 5 words came out of my mouth. Yes, it would have been lovely to run around like a crazy on red rock cliffs and yes, I would have LOVED to have had a clear head with no pounding behind the eyes. But I didn't have any of that.

Instead I spent the day in my bed as friends trickled into my house. Ado made me the best homemade cake I have ever had and Allie brought pizza and salad. It was a low key night but I was with people I love and will miss greatly. I have a tendency to get caught up in all the things around me and end up on the go, go, go. This year, as I entered my mid-20's, sitting on a crate in my living room, I took some time to really look around and see what my life has become. With about a dozen friends and some birthday cake, my heart felt full.

Like I said, I wouldn't change a thing.

this is the only photo from the night. yeah camera phones!

I am not your girl if you're looking for someone who takes "the road less traveled". Sorry, Mr. Frost, but you are not the poet who speaks my thoughts. I believe Shel Silverstein claims that award. Whether he wants dibs on the shaping of my life is a completely different topic for a different day. To make life easy is one of of many aspirations I try to fulfill on a daily basis. This has little to do with a stressful job and more to do with, well, my mom would probably call it 'laziness'.

Take my bed, for instance. I slept on a twin mattress on the floor for most my college years. The set-up lacked maturity but it didn't really phase me and honestly, looking for a bed and paying for it didn't really come high on my list of things to do as a 19 year old freshly out on her own. My current queen-sized sleeping arrangements fell into my lap by a roommate wanting to get rid of the old thing. It had a box spring (...and an odor but that went away with Febreeze...or I got used to it. I'll let you decide). Anyways, after moving to Salt Lake, I ditched the plastic digs for a friend's mattress he was storing at my house.

It's been a lovely 6 months with those springs. Before I could even get over the honeymoon stage, said friend told me he needed his bed back. I wasn't even a little upset. See, this was going to be "efficient" in the long run. It was one less thing to move in a month and a half! He picked it up the other evening and I offered the box spring which he welcomed with open arms. Again, 1 less thing to worry about at the end of June! I attempted to offer up the bed frame but that was turned down. I guess I was being greedy...

It has now been 2 nights in my 3-season sleeping bag and, unfortunately, my hip isn't molding well with the cement covered carpet. But as I texted to a friend earlier today, I will gladly take convenience over comfort any day.

My mother would be so proud.

Everyone likes free things

My sister, in case you didn't know, has a really great food blog. And right now, she's got an AWESOME giveaway on her website right now. Not only could you win a pizza stone set but she's in a competition with other bloggers. The blogger with the most comments gets a shopping spree through The Pampered Chef that she's going to share with the winner! Go, go, go and comment! It's her Christmas present since I haven't given her her Christmas present yet (I know, I know. It's April...I realize that). So, help me (her) out and comment!

photo and obviously incredible recipe by Jane